‘Geek’ Category

  1. Microsoft Fucks It All Up

    July 8, 2007 :: 5:54 pm

    As a professional designer of web sites and e-mail communications, I think it’s very important to adhere to standards. Any designer worth her salt uses the best tools for the job and keeps up with the evolution of standards as defined by the W3C. That’s why I’ve spent years learning to write beautiful, lean, mean, efficient standards-adherent CSS and HTML.

    One of the thorns in designers’ sides is having to write “fixes” into our code to make up for Internet Explorer’s failings. With the recent release of Internet Explorer 7, a number of those failings were corrected and so we had hope that perhaps Microsoft was finally coming around and using W3C standards and stopping the crazy cycle of developing “standards” of its own, the equivalent of taking its toys from the Internet sandbox and going home.

    HOWEVER. Oh, and do I mean HOWEVER. With the recent release of the Outlook 2007 e-mail program for PCs (and by recent I mean January… yes, I am a little behind), Microsoft decided not to include the newly developed Internet Explorer 7 HTML rendering engine and instead to use the Word engine to render HTML in emails. The non-standards-compliant, circa-1997-ish Word rendering engine.

    A huge percentage of people use PCs, and a large percentage of those users use Outlook as their primary e-mail program, and that means that Microsoft has effectively taken e-mail design back a decade. How can designers NOT comply with these arbitrary rules set by the maker of the most popular email program on the planet? We have to. We are forced to play their game, and write bad code to accommodate this brand new, horribly crippled e-mail program, otherwise a majority of our users would receive e-mails that look like shit. And e-mails that look like shit make users think poorly of your brand and your company.

    What this means for me and countless other e-mail designers is that, because Outlook no longer supports a number of extremely basic HTML and CSS tags, we will now have to begin using outdated bloated code to assure that our e-mails display properly in Outlook 2007. It does not support, among other things, background images in divs and table cells, float positioning, and ALT TAGS. Yes, you read that right: it does not support alt tags. You know how when you get an email and the images don’t load, but a little bit of text displays in their place so you can tell what it’s supposed to be? That little text bitlet is an alt tag. And they’ve gone bye bye. And since background images are no longer supported, our emails will become much plainer and less attractive.

    Microsoft’s reasoning is, apparently, that since the majority of their business users use Word to create HTML emails, then Outlook needs to use the same engine to display them.

    I say, bullshit. There is NO REASON why Outlook should not make use of modern, standards compliant code rendering. If anything, they need to fucking update the craptastic Word rendering engine.

    In both my professional and freelance lives, I am now going to have to begin redesigning everything I do to accommodate Outlook 2007. It will be more work for less payoff. We designers are used to having to write CSS that will degrade gracefully in older browsers; I never thought I’d have to write code that will degrade gracefully in the newest version of the most popular email program made by the largest software company in the world.

    Way to go, Microsoft.


  2. I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL

    January 1, 2007 :: 10:12 pm

    Holy cow, I’m white and nerdy!


  3. roll with it

    September 22, 2006 :: 3:44 pm

    This is pure genius! Hell yeah, I want to listen to music or a podcast in the bathroom! It’s pretty much the one place in my house that is not set up for music: no television, no computer, no radio, no iPod docking cradle and speakers. That might appeal to some people (warm bath, good book, silence), but my Something Shiny Disorder doesn’t let my brain relax for very long. I figure that I average about 45 minutes to an hour in the bathroom over the course of a day – showering, fix hair, brushing teeth, contact lenses, peeing, etc. – so why not make the most of that time? (And I’m not a typical girl; I bet the average woman spends double that in the bathroom each day. Ladies? Am I right?)

    Too bad that the thing looks so… er… big and white and plasticky. I don’t mind the control pad at the top, which is reminiscent of the iPod design. But if only they’d made the rest out of sleek aluminum or something equally elegant and subtle. This looks like a giant iPod, that had a baby iPod, hot-glued onto the top of something you’d get at a dollar store.

    And then, there is this:

    HP’s new in-camera weight loss program. Because, you know, the chick in the example image above REALLY needs slimming. It’s not so much the existence of the special effect mode that irritates me; it’s that all the models in their advertisements are rail-thin to begin with. Apparently, thin just isn’t thin enough.


  4. catching up with depeche mode (and me)

    August 16, 2006 :: 9:03 pm

    I leave town for a week, with scant computer access, and it feels like my arm is missing or something. I guess that I could have sent short blog entries via my phone, and although at times it is satisfying to crystallize my thoughts into a 50-character limit, sometimes I just need free reign to blab.

    Like now. So here I go.

    First of all, I have some fun links to share. This is courtesy of Brett, who has been keeping up with my love-hate relationship with my treadmill. These dudes are infinitely more coordinated than me; it made me feel queasy just watching them. Also, notice how the film was shot in one take. Imagine how many times they must have practiced those moves and how many flesh-squished-underneath-treadbelt injuries must have occurred during said practice sessions…

    Too bad this is already over… I think we might have been up for the challenge of making a 5 minute film entitled “Motherf***ing Wombats on a Motherf***ing Segway.” Thanks once again to Brett, who it seems is becoming a purveyor of all things hilarious on The Internets.

    And from Leslie, The House on the Rock. Here’s the official website, but this photo gallery paints a much better picture of what it’s all about. I’m thinking that we need to plan a Crazy Shit Across America road trip.

    I also want to share some nifty art that I found. The first image is from an artist named Karen Eastman, who does some really nice abstract nature-themed art. Some of it reminds me of my own art, some of it seems influenced by Georgia O’Keeffe.

    This next artist, Philip Straub, does gorgeous digital paintings and illustrations. A lot of his work seems to illustrate magicial fantastical realms. It’s amazing eye candy. I could look at it for hours.

    And last but not least for tonight, proof! I say PROOF! that playing Dungeons and Dragons is hazardous to your health — nay, your very LIFE and ETERNAL SOUL! Witness the following grainy image showing four innocent teenage girls on the path to darkness! You might want to shield your childrens’ eyes before looking!


  5. once you go mac…

    July 25, 2006 :: 8:52 pm

    These are toooo funny! Even us “you can take my Macintosh away when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands” types can laugh at ourselves.

    Networking

    Gaming

    Performance


  6. the world war I flying ace battles the red baron!

    June 20, 2006 :: 10:22 pm

    How fun is this! Somebody rigged up a model airplane with Snoopy and his flying doghouse. I saw a spot about this on Discoveries This Week over the weekend; here is a video of the doghouse in action. [I apologize in advance for a) this being a direct link to a WMV file; and b) the "Who Let the Dogs Out" soundtrack that goes with it. <shiver>]


  7. Catwatch 2006!

    March 30, 2006 :: 3:04 pm

    In case you were curious as to what my cats do all day, you can find out here.

    I don’t always have the camera on, but you might catch a glimpse of a cat or two or three, and sometimes even me.


  8. Google Mars

    March 14, 2006 :: 10:51 am

    How cool is this! Google Mars.

    It’s almost as cool as Google Earth (a free downloadable application), but not nearly as interesting as Google Moon when zoomed in as closely as possible…


  9. A Return To Capitalization!

    March 10, 2006 :: 9:41 pm

    For no reason whatsoever, I have decided to return to normal capitalization rules in my posts. I used to, then I quit for a while and have been doing all lower case for a long time now.

    I wonder if this has anything to do with the increase in frequency of my use of IM. It’s easier in IM to use all lowercase, since you’re typing quickly in realtime, usually with no time for spellcheck. I bet if you drew a graph and plotted my IM use with my lapse in using proper capitalization rules, you’d find a correlation.

    Oddly enough, I find that when I’m using e-mail at work, I can type in upper & lower case without any problem. I wouldn’t want to go all-lc at my co-workers. Except that I do use all-lc on my IM at work. I guess that’s OK; it’s more accepted to not bother with capital letters on IM than on e-mail. E-mail seems more “official.”

    “E-mail seems more ‘official’”… I guess that it’s all relative, isn’t it? LOL

    I only had to go back over this post and correct ONE capitalization error! Yay for me!

    By the way, yes, I am at home on a Friday night. Hey, I’m 33, it’s been a long week. Tonight I watched “The Fifth Element” on our new widescreen HDTV, and right now I’m taking a break from filling in my check registers in Quicken. Later I’m going to go make some popcorn, get a Diet Dr. Pepper, and watch another movie before bed.

    Tomorrow night we are going to see “The Rocky Horror Puppet Show” at Quad-C Theatre, directed by none other than the one and only Dane Hoffman (actually he’s NOT the one and only, I just googled his name and found several people that are decidedly not him.) I went to high school with Dane, and I remember him as being very sweet, and nice to me (lots of people weren’t…), and kinda kooky, and he most definitely did not give any kind of a fuck what people thought of him. Case in point: he came to school one day dressed in a spandex Superman leotard and cape, with red underpants on the outside. Just for the hell of it, I think.


  10. nerrrrrrrrds

    February 10, 2006 :: 10:56 pm

    i am such a nerd.

    here is a screenshot of me as a skeleton in westfall, in worlds of warcraft. doc, to the right, used his halloween wand to turn me into a skeleton. i WISH i’d gotten a screenshot of the little skeleton dance… it’s basically a badass air guitar solo!!


  11. why do i always think a redesign will be fun?

    February 7, 2006 :: 10:34 pm

    yeah. i don’t know what gets into my head.

    i’ve spent three to four hours for the past two nights trying to fix my new layout so it will work in internet fucking explorer. that is its official name, by the way: “internet fucking explorer.” i don’t care if 90% of the world uses it as its primary browser; it is a piece of shit.

    so, anyway, this OUGHT to work better. at least, it works structurally in IE for the mac, most of the time. i have no idea what it looks like on IE for the pc, because, in a when-hell-freezes-over kind of way, i do not own one. i can check it at work tomorrow or if one of my three very kind and helpful pc-using friends whose names start with a “b” can check for me, that’ll be even better. :)

    i’m beyond caring how it looks on IE mac, but i would like it to work in IE pc simply because i have a lot of readers who use that particular platform and browser — and much as i would prefer that to be different, it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. anyway, mac IE seems to be a good litmus test for pc IE — at least IE5.5.

    i forgot to upload this last week. it actually rained!! i was so excited that i took photos on the way to work, but forgot my camera’s usb cable so couldn’t actually upload any. don’t worry, i had the camera stationary on the steering wheel and just hit the button without actually aiming or composing. my eyes were on the road the whole time!

    this first one was taken at the intersection of northwest highway and buckner.

     

    this one was taken at the end of my street, looking across plano road towards the sonic (open for breakfast! shining that bright red neon glow through the windows of the houses! “you’ll never forget we have tater tots and strawberry cheesecake shakes, any time of the day or night!!!!”)


  12. über goober

    April 18, 2005 :: 7:04 am

    “Dallas native Steven E. Metze directed, produced, and financed the feature length documentary Über Goober, and is currently on deployment to Iraq until 2006. Über Goober focuses on the often-misunderstood, sometimes-controversial, and always-kind-of-geeky world of gamers. Not the computer kind of gamer, the in-person-dice-rolling-and-sometimes-dress-up-in-costume kind. Metze examines several different groups including historical miniature gamers, role-players, and those known simply as “LARPers.” The film also explores opposition from religious groups, negative media portrayals ranging from sit-coms to post-Columbine news coverage, and some of the meanest ‘man-on-the-street’ interviews ever committed to video. Meet the gamers, learn their exotic language, see their bizarre rituals, gasp at their semi-authentic costumes, and thrill to the painting techniques on their miniatures!”

    oh. my. god. much as the thought of it makes me squirm, i have to go see this. it is going to be so painfully uncomfortable to watch. i was never into miniature gaming or hard-core play-by-the-rules role playing, but i did play dungeons & dragons from about the ages of 14 to 18, and occasionally did LARP. if you don’t know what that is, i’m not going to further embarrass myself by explaining it.

    so, 14 years later, i still have my dragon dice, and i still know where they are, and that place, for some reason, is not a box in the back of my attic. they reside in my desk, just in case, you know, i am faced with a situation in which i must immediately determine armor class.

    honestly, although there’s a little part of me that’s embarassed to admit i used to play RPGs (with that little voice in the back of my head going “i strike at thee with my plus five battle axe!”), the bigger part of me doesn’t care if anyone knows. as rich said, there are some positive social benefits that come from this form of entertainment, especially for those who are socially awkward to the point where they might not otherwise get too many social benefits. and i certainly was such a socially awkward person, (although by now i think i’ve grown out of it to some degree and become much more comfortable relating to people), and so i’m grateful that i found a group of similarly socially awkward friends.