Doc’s been feeling somewhat decent the past few days… relatively speaking, of course. He’s woken up without much of a headache, and that is a nice change. It usually hits later in the day but I don’t think it’s to the degree that it has been recently.

He says that the Depakote is doing really weird things to him. Before, the headaches would come in long waves, kind of like a sine wave that went really high in intensity for a while, then would dip somewhat lower for a while. Now the headaches come in shorter bursts that don’t get quite as high or as low. Both amplitude-modulated and frequency-modulated. Also, it’s like the cluster and the migraine and the Depakote are in a 3-way knock-down drag-out fight inside his skull, and one of them usually will have dominance for a short period before one of the other ones takes over for a while.

He has to gradually build up to taking 4 pills a day. Tonight he starts on week #3 (3 pills). Should be interesting to see what happens when he’s on a full dose.

Saturday we had a good day. Spent a lot of quality time together, I went to Molly’s wedding shower, we went out to the movies to see “Stardust,” which was quite surprisingly good and then later watched “The Constant Gardener” from Netflix, and we ate takeout for dinner.

At Molly’s shower, I saw a girl that I remembered from high school but haven’t seen since 1990. She and I had a class together and we sat together every day and goofed off the entire year. She was a year younger than me but she was one of the “cool kids,” the ones who occasionally cut class, probably smoked and drank, and generally had a much more developed social life than I did. But she hung out with me in class, talked to me, seemed to like or at least accept me. I definitely remembered her for that, and occasionally wondered what happened to her. I didn’t know that Molly was friends with her younger sister. She now has three kids, including a 2 week old baby girl and a 3 year old boy who knows all the words to Johnny Cash’s entire repertoire, and is as funny as ever. She said that she remembers me, although I’m not sure that’s actually true. She may have said it just to be nice. It doesn’t matter, though, I had a good time talking to her his weekend.

Today I began lunchtime yoga classes. I haven’t taken yoga in a year and a half, because I was lazy, training for a marathon, and really liked going out to eat every day instead. But I’m changing my ways now. I hope to go to yoga at least 2 out of 3 times per week, endeavor to cut back on my seriously out of control diet-Coke habit (by not drinking any before lunch time, for starters), and to continue my healthy diet changes. I’ve already stopped eating all deli meat (turkey, ham, roast beef, etc) and have cut way down on my meat consumption in general. I’m trying to eat more fruit (breakfast smoothies help a lot with that). More changes probably to come, but I think these are good goals to start with.

Anway, after yoga I felt fantastic all afternoon, as I usually do when I get those endorphins going in my bloodstream. I am certain that tomorrow I will barely be able to move! But I should be used to it after a week or so, I think.

I managed to complete one of my New Year’s resolutions, only four days into the year. Not bad, eh?!

I went to an ob/gyn to talk about all the problems I’ve been having lately. (The squeamish should stop reading right here).

I explained that I’ve been having approximately 2 periods per month since September. He did a sonogram (whee! what fun) and they discovered two things: 1) my IUD is situated incorrectly, and 2) my ovaries are riddled with cysts. Either or both of these things could be what has been causing my recent problems.

The cysts are benign, and they do eventually disappear on their own, but new ones keep forming in me. Each one that disappears leaves behind a little scar tissue, and the scar tissue is almost always the site where ovarian cancer forms.

And guess what kind of cancer runs strongly in my family?

He was surprised that I have an IUD, since he said that normally they don’t put them in women who haven’t had babies because our uteruses (uteri?) are usually too small to properly hold them in place. That’s why mine shifted — inadequate uterus.

He recommended that they pull out the IUD and put me back on birth control pills. I wasn’t wild about this idea because the whole reason that I got an IUD in the first place was so I wouldn’t have to take hormone supplements every day of my life.

He explained that the IUD was very likely CAUSING the cysts in the first place, and also that birth control pills have been shown in numerous studies to decrease the risk of breast and ovarian cancer by up to 90%. If he were to take out the IUD, my cysts would probably go away on their own, and the birth control pills would prevent new ones from forming, thus probably decreasing my cancer risk.

So I had them do it. Pulling it out didn’t hurt quite as much as putting it in, but it was by no means fun. And now I’m back on birth control pills, which I’m still not wild about, but the dosage I am on is about half of what I used to take (he told me a very interesting history of dosages, and basically what they prescribe today is about half of what they prescribed in 1990 or so, when I first started taking them, and about a tenth of the dosage in the 1960s when they first came on the market).

I go back in three months for a follow up sonogram, to check on my ovaries. In the meantime, I hope that my cycles get back on a normal schedule.

I have assigned myself a Project 365 for 2007: to take one interesting photo every day for the entirety of 2007.

A Project 365 can be anything you want it to be — taking a photo, writing a poem, collecting a found object — and the only rule is that you do it every single day for the whole year.

I decided to take a photo each day. I’m not requiring of myself that it be high art or amazing technique or anything like that; in fact, I suppose it doesn’t even have to be interesting. As long as I do it. My original idea was to take 365 self portraits, but that’s a LOT of pictures of me. I don’t think I want to see 365 pictures of myself. So I’m going themeless, although I’m sure some of them will be self portraits.

Actually, in a way, all of them WILL be self portraits, because every time I choose a subject for a photo, I reveal a little something about myself…

Anyway, at the end of the year I will basically have a photo diary of the past 365 days. Sometimes I have trouble remembering what I did two days ago, so I think it’s going to be very cool to be able to look back and see something that I did or some place that I was or something that I saw, every single day.

I’ll also have a nice big collection from which I can pull the best shots and add them to my portfolio. (Oops, did I just give away my secret identity there? Oh well. It’s not like 98% of y’all don’t know me already anyway)

I guess part of the point is committing to the challenge of doing something every single day besides brush my teeth and shower (yeah, I’m pretty low maintenence!). But I also think that it’ll challenge me creatively, as a photographer (make that a wannabe photographer; I’ve dated enough of them, worked with enough of them, and married one of them, to know that my talent ain’t shit in comparison).

So if you are interested in watching my life progress before your very eyes, you can bookmark my Project 365 photostream.

Usually I’m not one for year-end reflections and New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve felt a bit introspective lately and I find myself wanting to measure and tally my achievements and accomplishments as well as put forth some goals for the next 12 months.

So: The year in review.

2006 has been a year of changes on a personal level, more of them than I can remember in a long time.

On the material side of things, we replaced a number of old worn out items with new ones: our bed (12 years), my computer (4-1/2 years), a refrigerator (13 years), the vacuum cleaner (12 years). And we acquired a couple of things we’ve been wanting for a while: a treadmill and a new car. So it’s been a rather expensive year as well.

We also joined the local Freecycling group, and we’ve given away a lot of extra stuff that we don’t need or don’t use anymore. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

I don’t think I mentioned it before, but we also have ordered (and will receive in mid-January) two new office chairs to replace both of our old broken workstation chairs. This was a serious splurge but the way I see it, if we’re going to be sitting in these chairs for 12 hours a day or more (Doc) and have back problems (me), it’s totally worth it to have a good chair. So hello, Herman Miller! :)

This year has brought an onslaught of health issues for me. It kind of feels sometimes like I’m just falling apart and I don’t know how to stop it. My migraine headaches have returned after years of dormancy; I tore my rotator cuff; I fell a couple of times (stairs and sidewalk), thankfully not seriously injuring myself but enough to make me question my balance and stability; I threw out my back half a dozen times; I tore my left hamstring; I fractured my left shin bone; I got bad poison ivy; I got bad stomach flu; and I’ve been having some possibly serious issues with my girl-parts-down-south.

However, there are a number of things that I achieved this year that I am proud of:

• I tried to learn to ski
• I learned to scuba dive
• I played flute in a performance art piece
• My team won 2nd place for our short film
• I grew some vegetables to fruition in a container garden
• I designed a book that was published and nationally distributed
• I acquired a major freelance client
• I trained for a marathon

Out of all that, I think that the marathon training is what I’m most proud of. Even though circumstances prevented me from achieving the ultimate goal of running the race, I committed to the training and tried very very hard to do something that seems contrary to my nature.

One of the hardest things that I had to deal with this year was losing our Angster Prankster kitty. I still think about him all the time.

Some things I learned this year:

• I am the things that I can’t let go of.
• If I don’t start faking social norms, I am going to end up as one of those cranky old people that nobody likes.
• I don’t want to be one of those people that’s always being super cautious about everything: Oh no, I’d better not participate in life because What If.
• Forgiveness is accepting that you can’t change the past.
• I can feel myself getting older now. The first gray hairs, more prominent wrinkles, lessened appetite, lessened energy levels, and proneness to injury.

Personal Resolutions For 2007

• To not have as expensive a year as 2006 was, even with the addition of a car payment.
• Enjoy myself immensely in Belize, RELAX and RECHARGE.
• Read eight books.
• Write one good poem.
• Begin work on my 2nd cookbook.
• Participate in the 2007 24-hour Video Race.
• Lose fifteen pounds.
• Return to doing yoga regularly.
• Train for and complete the White Rock Half Marathon in December 2007.
• Complete four new paintings.
• Respond to e-mail in a more timely fashion.
• De-clutter the house even more.
• Get my reproductive health situation figured out and fixed.
• Sell the Saturn.
• Participate in my own Project 365: Take one photo a day for a year. This means that I’ll need to get a new camera.
• Take more time to appreciate the journey to all my goals, and the journeys that don’t end in goal completion.

I’m sure there will be more. I’ll add them as I think of them.

I’m severely manic today. I don’t know what the deal is. I’ve got tons and tons and tons of energy, and I feel like I’m flying high, like everything’s falling into place, like I’m getting tons of stuff done, like I can keep going all night. It’s almost like I’ve taken some mood altering substance that’s got me going going going going going. (I didn’t.) You know that feeling where you can almost feel every blood cell in your body zipping along through your veins, like your energy is almost visceral, it’s this THING that you can feel circulating through you and it makes your whole body hum and vibrate? That’s what this feels like, except I’m keeping it perfectly under control, it’s right at that knife edge where it could go too far and suddenly I’d feel like complete shit. I’m keeping it on the knife blade today, all day.

I’m even typing crazy fast. (And making crazy lots of mistakes, but that’s another story). Even now, at 9:45 p.m., I still feel like I’m cresting on some crazy energy wave, although I can feel it abating a little bit.

Here is what I’ve done today, in no particular order:

• Got up at 7.
• Made a list of money that we owe people, and money that is owed to us for various minor recent things.
• Assisted on a video shoot for a documentary about kids attending cancer camp.
• Ate breakfast.
• Ran errands at Target.
• Washed all the towels in the house in a strong vinegar soak to get rid of the impending musty smell that I’ve sensed lately.
• Belled the cat. (That was Doc’s task, actually. Loki’s furious about having to wear a collar … a shiny neon yellow reflective collar with a loud jangly bell. No more stealthy misbehaviour for him. We’re convinced that he knows he’s invisible sometimes.)
• Finished some work on Debbie’s website.
• Helped Doc complete 5 invoices to send off to clients.
• Went through Doc’s database and closed out jobs that needed closing.
• Entered Doc’s recent expenses into his database.
• Talked to Arushi for 45 minutes.
• Ate dinner and drank a Tilburg’s Dutch Brown Ale.
• Prepared and sent off 3 recipes to Erica, who’s revamping our QFC website and reviving our newsletter from the dead.
• Collected Molly’s DVDs to mail back to her.
• Collected a DVD to mail to Joel.
• Made a list of things to do tomorrow after running.
• Locked myself (somehow? or was it a cat?) out of my filing cabinet which I purchased at a surplus sale at work and to which I have no key.
• Took photos of the file cabinet and locking mechanism to take to a locksmith tomorrow.
• Measured some stuff in the bedroom to try to determine the best place to put the treadmill.
• Thought about posting some stuff to eBay or craigslist, but didn’t do it.
• Exported Cover Story to post to my blog and/or Youtube.
• Ate some cheese and crackers.
• Made my breakfast and lunch for tomorrow.
• Did the dishes and cleaned all the counters.
• Cleaned out underneath my bathroom sink, my bathroom drawer, the cabinet above our toilet, and the cabinet in the cat bathroom. Tossed a bunch of old stuff, rearranged some items, consolidated some items, and began putting together an “emergency kit” for work with toothpaste, tampons, eyedrops, floss, sewing kit, deodorant, ibuprofen, etc.
• Talked to Mom on IM and tried to help her solve a computer problem.
• Checked out the art of Jose Emroca Flores.
• Complained about the 107 degree heat this afternoon.
• Sat here writing this post, fidgeting like I need to get up and do something.

Things that I did Saturday:

• Got up at 9.
• Went to the gym with Doc; ran 3.5 miles while he used the treadmill.
• Came home, showered, dressed, and ate lunch.
• Drove to Grapevine to a fitness store, where we bought a treadmill (I probably ran another half mile, this time in my bare feet, testing out the treadmills).
• Went to the crazy nutty Grapevine outlet mall and walked around for a while. Suprisingly – or perhaps not so surprisingly – found absolutely nothing I wanted to buy. Played a quiet game in my head called “Is America Fatter Than Me?” (answer: Yes.).
• Made bierocks when we got home (I made the dough; Doc made the filling and assembled them) and cut up fresh veggies for a mini-salad-bar.
• Watched a mostly useless 2 hour Discovery Channel show about the search for Atlantis, that could have been covered in 15 minutes.
• I think I did some other stuff but that was 24 hours ago and the mind is not so sharp these days.

Things I neglected to do this weekend:

• See Bob while he was in town. I thought we’d get together Saturday night after his trip to Six Flags, but he had to drive back to Lubbock in kind of an emergency that night because the friend that he was with found out his dog died that day back home :(
• Call Yvonne back in time to get in on the farmers’ market co-op thing for this weekend.
• Run or walk or bicycle today.
• Move all our eBay/craigslist stuff to the garage.

Like you care about any of that! I know, it’s mostly just a list for me to feel proud of myself and wonder how I had the freakin’ energy to accomplish it.

Last Friday, I had a meeting with Ian. I’m going to be working with him on a project — iTunes U for our university. He seemed quite open to the design assistance that I was offering him; I was initially a little wary that this would turn into some kind of uncomfortable ownership battle over the design. He seemed to like my initial concepts, though. I thought it might be a little strange to talk business with him for an hour, but it wasn’t, really. In a way, I think that having the kind of history with him that I do makes me almost more comfortable working with him than with someone that I don’t know and whose reactions I would have a hard time anticipating. Afterwards, he came and stood in my cubicle for a few minutes and we chatted about various things which I can’t even remember now.

Friday night Doc and I went to Stout, a very quiet nearly deserted bar on Greenville (how do they stay in business?) and had a few drinks and played pool. Later we went to Yvonne and Nate’s house for a few hours and had some pizza and more drinks with Brittney and Chris.

I think that I’m done with alcohol for a while, at least until after the marathon. Not that I drink too much or anything; in fact, I only have 1-2 drinks a week at the most. But it’s extra calories that I don’t need. Of course, I’m finishing off my Tilburg’s Dutch Brown from dinner as I type…. and of course this isn’t a hard and fast rule. I’m sure I’ll have a celebratory drink on my 34th birthday.

We’ve started to ramp up our long-run distances. This weekend was 3.5; next weekend is 4. We’ll do about 1/2 mile more every weekend until a few weeks before the race. I’m concerned that I’m not doing enough strength training and other types of training like stretching or swimming or yoga. I want to run every day because I feel it gives me the most benefit, but I don’t want to run AND do another form of exercise – that’s way too much time. So I really just need to develop a schedule. I was going to yoga Wednesdays and Fridays, but my work schedule’s been kind of messed up the past 2 weeks and I haven’t gone. I think I need to do 3-5 runs a week, 1-2 days of other training, and have one day of rest.