‘Sociology’ Category

  1. i’m not arrogant, i’m just an introvert

    February 22, 2006 :: 9:14 pm

    thanks to brett for the link to this fantastic article, “caring for your introvert: the habits and needs of a little-understood group.”

    …introverts are people who find other people tiring.

    Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”

    in the article and a subsequent interview, he talks about how to go about life as an introvert in a world where the majority of people are extroverts.

    he also talks about the difference between being shy and being introverted, which i have to admit hadn’t occurred to me before. being shy means that social situations make you anxious, nervous, and/or awkward, whereas introverts generally don’t necessarily get anxious in social situations, but do get tired out rather quickly.

    i think i’m both.

    when we have parties at our house, at least 2 or 3 times during the party i come upstairs to “check on the cats”… which i am really doing, but it’s also my way of getting away from everybody for 5 or 10 minutes so i can recover and go back down and face it again. i don’t mean “face it” like it’s an ordeal or whatever, but i do get mentally exhausted a lot faster than an extroverted person would.

    Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with …. our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. “Introverts,” writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? …. “are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don’t outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness.”

    Category Deep Thoughts, Sociology | Tags: | No Comments

  2. pictures in my head

    November 29, 2005 :: 9:14 am

    Category Deep Thoughts, Dreams, Sociology | Tags: | Comments Off

  3. get used to paying for your fuel

    September 3, 2005 :: 8:32 pm

    i forgot to mention earlier, i don’t think that gas prices will go back down. a new standard has been set. we’ll get used to paying these prices for a while, and we’ll be understanding about it because “we’re in a war” and “the economy’s suffered a setback” due to the devastation from the hurricane… and pretty soon we’ll be SO used to paying these prices that we won’t notice that they aren’t going down again.

    just my theory.

    say goodbye to $1.50 gas. say goodbye to $2.50 gas.

    we went to the movies tonight and, in the parking lot, walked past possibly the largest pickup truck i’ve ever seen. it was… well, “fat” i guess is a good word for it. and tall. i said to doc “i bet that person is sorry they bought that gas-guzzling monstrosity now.” maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. but like i said earlier, i’m not terribly upset by the rise in gas prices, if it forces people to consider transportation alternatives.

    Category News, Sociology | Tags: | 1 Comment

  4. gas prices

    :: 10:30 am

    gas prices have shot up, i would say, about 35-40 cents per gallon in the past week. it’s now difficult to find gas that’s less than $3 per gallon for regular octane. just a year or so ago, prices topped $2 for the first time that i can remember, and have more than doubled in the last 3 years or so. from what i can gather, in inflation-adjusted dollars, these prices are some of the highest in u.s. history.

    so thursday night after work, i filled up the tank ($2.99 per gallon), put the car in the garage, and left it there. friday i found a way to get to work on public transportation. it took longer, but i got some nice walking in that i wouldn’t have otherwise.

    it’s not that i really have a problem with gas prices being high like they are. i hope the effect is that people will use their cars less and walk/bike/take public transport more. i hope that the sales of giant gas-guzzling vehicles drops like a rock. maybe our pollution levels will decrease and we’ll have fewer red and orange pollution alert days. it’s not like we really have anything to complain about. gas prices here are some of the lowest around the world. in europe, they pay something like $5-$7 per gallon.

    Category News, Sociology | Tags: | 2 Comments

  5. man date

    May 24, 2005 :: 9:12 pm

    i’ve always thought it unfair that women can get together one on one, going out to the movies or a nice dinner or just somewhere to talk, but men cannot do the same with each other without people thinking that they are gay. not that there is anything wrong with that, believe you me. but it’s irritating for anyone to have strangers make assumptions about their sexual orientation based on something that has absolutely no connection to sexual orientation.

    actually, men get the shaft in numerous ways — for instance, us chicks can wear skirts, dresses, pants, shorts, capris… you name it. any color, any style. guys can wear… well, pants or shorts. limited colors. they can accessorize with a necktie! woohoo!

    anyway, i digress. the new york times ran an article about the phenomenon known as the “man date.” read on:

    Simply defined, a man date is two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business or sports. It is two guys meeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with a woman. Dining together across a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a bar is not. Taking a walk in the park together is a man date; going for a jog is not. 

    and, “When attending a movie together — preferably with explosions or heavy special effects, never a romantic comedy — guys prefer to put a nice big seat between each other.” we saw this demonstrated quite nicely last night when we went to see star wars iii, revenge of the sith (that movie is another story for another post). the two guys sitting in front of us were obviously friends and had come together, but left a seat between them. they were sharing a gigantic super-coronary-sized tub of popcorn, but didn’t put it on the seat in the middle, probably out of fear that their hands might meet in the tub. they instead passed it back and forth at intervals.

    Category Gay, Sociology | Tags: | No Comments

  6. no! not cartoon ass! how horrible!

    January 17, 2005 :: 9:55 pm

    another fine example of American Hypocritical Values

    Jan 17, 6:01 PM EST 

    Fox Blurs Cartoon Rear End on FCC Worries

    LOS ANGELES (AP) — Fox says it covered up the naked rear end of a cartoon character recently because of nervousness over what the Federal Communications Commission will find objectionable.

    The latest example of TV network self-censorship because of FCC concerns came a few weeks ago during a rerun of a “Family Guy” cartoon. Fox electronically blurred a character’s posterior, even though the image was seen five years ago when the episode originally aired….

    Fox hadn’t gotten any complaints about the cartoon. But the move follows the FCC’s decision in October to fine 169 Fox stations $7,000 each for airing an episode of “Married By America” that showed people licking whipped cream from strippers’ bodies and a man in his underwear being spanked by strippers.

    so… they’ll gladly show insane amounts of violence (professional sports being a prime example of that), people manipulating each other in horrible ways (all reality television), people being paid to cheat on their significant others (temptation island).. but they freak out over a drawing of a cartoon butt?

    Category News, Sociology, TV | Tags: | 1 Comment

  7. personal responsibility IS the good of the whole

    November 3, 2004 :: 6:14 pm

    In a return email to Brett in reference to the one mentioned below, here are my thoughts:

    I can see that “the good of the whole” is a slippery slope. but i think what i’m talking about is less about finding one person or group of people to decide what the good of the whole is, and instead more on an individual level: taking personal responsibility for your actions and judging whether the impact of your actions will negatively affect others to a degree that it overshadows your personal benefit.

    As an example, if I want a new car (for personal use) and I decide to buy a gas guzzling Hummer or Suburban or the like, assuming I have not been living under a rock, I understand that these things get horrible gas mileage and spew more toxic fumes than most other cars, per mile driven, and i also understand that if i were to be in a wreck in one of these things, i’d have a decent chance of surviving whereas if the other driver was in a normal size car, i may very well kill them. so do i put my personal desire for an enormous honkin’ vehicle (i was trying to think of compelling reasons why someone would want to own one but came up dry) over the safety of other drivers and the impact on the air quality? tons of people do. some of them have good reasons (service vehicle; haul stuff a lot; etc.), but huge numbers of them do not (and having three kids who have band and soccer is NOT a good reason to own one… that can be easily done in a sedan, trust me)

    all i’m hoping for is that people will stop and think about what impact their actions (any and all of their actions) will have on themselves, others, and society as a whole, and try to do what’s right. true, “what’s right” is a matter of perception and varies by individual, but i like to think that there are some basic tenets of “right” and “wrong” that stem from simply being a human being.

    unfortunately, there are so many people trying to get a free lunch, who feel like the world owes them something, and who will use every opportunity to take advantage of other people in order to claw their way ahead, that i’m personally experiencing a paradigm shift to a more realistic belief that humans are NOT basically good… i wouldn’t necessarily say evil, but that we’re basically greedy, selfish, violent animals. this is not news to me; it’s just disappointing because it’s proven to me time and time again.

    i’m not saying i have the answers; in fact i have no idea what the hell to do. i’m just trying to explain what i think is broken about our society and government. i don’t think that most people think for themselves enough, and i sure don’t want to do it for them. i just wish that they WOULD. i don’t know how to fix that, or if it can be.

    Brett said

    “You increase the goodness in the world by increasing the goodness at the individual level.” 

    absolutely! that would certainly do the trick. we just need to figure out how to do that. i think that getting people to take responsibility for their actions on a more regular basis would be a gigantic step in the right direction.

    Category Sociology | Tags: | No Comments

  8. the good of the one vs. the good of the many

    :: 3:22 pm

    In an e-mail, Brett made some good points about the way our system of government should work, including “Until we come back to or arrive at the position that people make decisions because they think they are doing what’s right for them, nothing will be done to change things.”

    I mostly agreed with him, but wanted to talk about one point a little further…

    But when people are making decisions that they feel are right for them without considering the good of the whole, that’s where we run into problems. We are being channeled by those in power to make decisions based on fear, very often an unfounded fear, and those decisions are always going to be selfish ones. Fear-based decisions are generally going to be the ones that take away our rights and the power of the people (and give those rights, power, and $$$ to the government and corporations, which are basically one and the same these days), in hopes that it will help ward off some future unknown horror. Fear drives us to buy gigantic SUVs to protect ourselves, to load up our households with assault weapons, to retreat into shrieks of “because the bible says so!”, to launch pre-emptive strikes against sovereign nations because they MIGHT someday do something against us. With that kind of thinking, Iraq had as much right to attack us as we did them.

    I don’t claim to know who you voted for yesterday, but I respect your right to choose and knowing that you are a smart, interesting person, I know you had what you felt were good reasons to do so, just as I did. I don’t think that you are immoral or evil or stupid because of (what I presume to be) your choice of candidate. I don’t think that the majority of people are evil or immoral (and that’s a whole gray area unto itself) or truly stupid. The older I get, the more it seems to me that most of America just doesn’t want to think, and would rather be told what to think and feel because it’s easier. It scares me that huge numbers of Americans don’t care enough to want to think for themselves or act in accordance with the greater good. And even though my personal feelings are that Bush and his policies and decisions are not in accordance with the greater good, I’m not really just talking about Bush vs. Kerry here; I’m speaking really in general terms about our society as a whole.

    So I understand your points, but I think you’re overrating the social awareness and responsibility of the majority with respect to their ability to make well-thought-out decisions based on reason instead of fear, greed, or religious fundamentalism.

    Category Politics, Sociology | Tags: | No Comments

  9. hi, can i ignore you?

    September 21, 2004 :: 8:23 pm

    doc and i have noticed this phenomenon lately — and it’s really not that much of a phenomenon, it’s just one of those things that made you think “wow, is this actually happening?”

    have you ever been completely and utterly ignored by a customer service person at a retail establishment?

    example #1: while having breakfast last weekend at a popular (read: we put everyone else out of business) bagel joint, our order was incomplete when doc went to pick it up. so he stood at the counter by the cashier, waiting for someone to ask him if he needed anything. the cashier was right there, ringing up peoples’ orders, and the bagel drones were walking back and forth behind the counter, going about their own business.

    he stood there for probably four or five minutes before anyone noticed he was standing there and asked him if he needed anything. he was not two feet from this cashier, who never once looked his way. he told me that he was perfoming an experiment, and waiting without saying anything to see how long it would take for someone to notice him.

    example #2: a few nights ago, when we picked up dinner at a local chicken restaurant, the same thing happened: he went to the counter to ask for some salt packets, and stood there for several long minutes. the cashier was nowhere in sight, but there were several chicken drones and a chicken manager behind the food service area, who could clearly see through to the dining room, who completely ignored both Doc and the two other customers who were waiting to be helped. finally one of the other customers said loudly, “HEY” to someone in the back, who then came out. who knows how long he would have waited if the other customer hadn’t said anything.

    i told him that there was no way i could wait that long, even for the sake of an experiment. i’d give about 30 seconds and then i’d start waving my arms or loudly saying “excuse me?” to anyone in sight. i’m too impatient.

    example #3: numerous times at the grocery store and various other retail establishments, i have been totally ignored by the cashier. the cashier is busy talking to another employee, or looking around the store while scanning my groceries, or just flat out ignores me — and sometimes does not even tell me my total, so that i have to ask, and only then do they begrudingly mumble what i owe.

    it’s just amazing. i shouldn’t be amazed by this stuff anymore. i should be jaded. is it rudeness? lack of manners? apathy induced by a pathetic minimum wage paycheck?

    on the other side of it is rude customers, of whom there are all too many. i do feel sorry for people working in the retail world; i’ve experienced it myself. i’m especially put out by customers on cell phones, who completely ignore the cashier while continuing their conversations. i heard about a post office somewhere around dallas that has put up a sign stating “we will gladly assist you after you have finished your phone conversation.”

    and then again, there are the occasional super-nice and helpful customer service people. i had a good experience with one at southwestern bell a few weeks back. she was so pleasant and really made me feel like she cared that i was having a problem. so i wrote a complimentary letter to her supervisor. it’s sad that i felt compelled to write a letter for what should be standard service. but unfortunately “standard service” these days is often apathy at best.

    Category Shopping, Sociology | Tags: | 1 Comment

  10. nudity vs. violence

    February 27, 2004 :: 10:16 pm

    Category Sociology | Tags: | No Comments

  11. Your fifteen minutes of fame, at the cost of your dignity

    July 25, 2003 :: 9:40 pm

    Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: I recorded it. I watched it later. Aaaaaand… I couldn’t sit through a full episode. I got bored, I guess. Here are some of my thoughts about it:

    • The queer guys are mean, rude, and unashamed in their vicious put-downs of anything not meeting their standards.
    • I feel sorry for the straight guys (kind of). The Queers degrade, insult, humiliate, and make fun of them, and treat them like they are stupid and utterly inept. And (as our lovely society dictates) they are just supposed to suck it up and take it, being men and all.
    • At the same time, though, they did agree to be on the show in some quest for minor fame.
    • The Queers are just reinforcing the stereotype that gay men are shallow, flamboyant, and obsessed with dick. I personally know a couple of dozen gay men, only one of whom fits that stereotype. Gay people have the full range of personalities and habits — just as straight people do.
    • And that Carson guy… would he please Just Stop. Just stop. Really. Shut the cakehole every two or three minutes. Tone it down tenfold. Quit being A Complete Bitch! And shut up every once in a while!

    Here’s the other thing: This show is being broadcast on Bravo. I have always thought of Bravo as a channel that shows more artsy and independent type films, shows, and projects. To wit: Inside the Actor’s Studio, The Awful Truth, Fishing with John. Now they are showing QEFTSG, which, with all its faults and annoyances, is pretty interesting… but they also have this new show called Boy Meets Boy, which is a dating show that looks just as vapid and ridiculous as any other modern “dating reality show,” except that this time it’s with all guys! And some of them are gay and some of them are straight! That’s the wacky twist! It looks as bad as something that FOX would show, and it’s on Bravo? Well, Doc tells me that Bravo is owned by NBC. So it would seem that a gay dating show is too controversial for network TV, so NBC loads it off onto Bravo instead… where it completely doesn’t fit.

    Maybe we need The Reality Channel on cable. You could even have two or three of them, kind of like HBO2 and HBO3 (or whatever they are called). That is where we could put aaaaaaaallllll the reality tv, and we could get back to showing quality programs on the other channels (note that “showing quality programs” is not equivalent to “cancelling quality programs,” which is what usually happens because Americans apparently just cannot get enough fucking reality programming).

    Category Gay, Sociology, TV | Tags: | No Comments

  12. bad bad bad bad scary bad day

    July 9, 2003 :: 10:27 pm

    In regards to yesterday’s entry, I got e-mail from a friend who said she now feels ashamed to admit that she ate dinner at Burger King yesterday evening. (And was convinced to do so by radio marketing). In light of this, I feel that I must explain that I most certainly eat fast food from time to time, definitely more often than I should. Sometimes I get a craving for those little McDonald’s hamburgers, the kind with the minced onion. I can’t help it.

    It’s not like I’m immune to the effects of marketing, either. For instance, we ate at McDonald’s the other night because of a TV show we were watching. PBS had some show about hot dog stands around the U.S. Now, I don’t even like hot dogs, but after watching this show about hot dogs, chili dogs, slaw dogs, sausage dogs, reindeer dogs, 1/2 pound dogs, and sauerkraut dogs, something fast and hot and salty and bad for us sounded reeeeeally good. By the time it was over, it was 9 p.m. and we hadn’t had dinner, so we went to McDonald’s because it was fast, easy, and convenient.

    I was bombarded by images of nutritionally devoid high-fat high-chemical foods… and I succumbed. And this was on PBS for Pete’s sake, under the guise of culinary documentary! Oi.

    Today was a really really bad day. I found out that I have a pre-cancerous cervical condition. They did a biopsy immediately, and I won’t know how bad (or not) it is for a week. This does not mean I have cancer; it means that there is something weird going on, and they don’t know what it is. Left untreated, it could definitely turn bad. The tests were quite unpleasant, and I think there’s probably going to be a lot more of them. I won’t know anything until next week, so I have a full seven or more days to imagine the worst. I don’t want to mention anything to my mom yet, because she would just worry herself to death and it may not even be anything that bad. So I don’t think I will say anything until I get the test results back. But I am pretty scared.

    Category Food, Health, Sociology, TV | Tags: | No Comments

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